Day Remain
by cloverist
Summary: Point of View of Sho and Kei. What were they really feel one to another between the separation time and borders
1. Chapter 1

Author Note :

**Author Note :**

Aww I should apologize to all people in this FF, all readers (bow) I had terrible English TT. But I felt, it wasn't become my hinder to write all my thought.

I never had enough bravery to bring this out… so don't flame me please .

This story was completely based on my experience. So, there's a big apologize about the OOCness, I couldn't resist it.

The timeline is when Sho and Kei were leaving, Kei's gone… and I was curious what a nine years waiting felt like. Sho was tough!!

**-the 1****st****-**

**Sho's POV**

Did the world stop to spin? Or rather my head stop to think? What was yesterday? Suddenly I should face the bruises and you gone, and Toshi's death and Son's shifting friendship? What was yesterday? What I'm gonna do today?

This is the first time in my life I spent a day without a word. There's no ear to listen, there's no one to respond, or simply there's no YOU here

Kei…..

I can accept your act while we were on the mural, in Yi Che's big day, or rather I called it the nightmare-has-come day. I had a plan to tell Son and Yi Che about your feature. About who're you definitely. Toshi agreed to the idea of telling these two, coz we've already become a family. Even I knew you would hardly tell them, I'm sure you loved them as you would want to take off your disguise in front. But NOT the way yesterday!. But not by letting them saw you draining blood of those punks.

Kei, we need to talk. I promised I'm not angry. And I swear Toshi wouldn't too. Your act just being driven by the instinct of anger, your hatred to the sinners whom killed Toshi. And still, you tried to protect anyone out there, risking your own life by putting the trigger on your head, probably end as a burned meat on sunrays, or like one we had now, losing belief of friends.

Kei, you did, but you're not losing anything, anyone….

You still have me, your crybaby little brat.

So be here, don't let me ended like others to just simply hate you for this pain.

Its sure pain,

Its devastated,

Its tortured,

Kei…

--

**Kei's POV**

What can bring life to my deepest heart, its gone already. I'm not complaining this cursing life God gave me, yet He never loves me anyway. But what is the biggest fear I have to fight now, is living this hell without you.

Sho,

I'm blind to every color since I was born. (and also I'm not complaining that). You can image "manga-world" with just filled by white, grey and black. But now it's worse, no color, no white nor black. What I've seen now is emptiness, without any colors.

What happen yesterday seems never happen. In my darkest pit dream, I never had this nightmare. All I had just seeing Luka burned to death, facing his destiny with smile and sings. I hardly forget that song.

"I can't believe I'm leaving you…"

Even I know this separation will clear to face, just matter of time, yet I hope it was because of death. Yeah, I have no plan leaving you until the rest of your life (I'm not die, remember). Then when it happens now, I just regret it. I'm too confident on my scenario, while God always has His rules. He did hate me.

I never thought it would be this sudden.

Sho,

Please remember this in your heart, I'm a sinful creature who deserve bear the pain of losing. I had it all my life, seeing people death, seeing everyone I loved depart from this hell to another (whether heaven or hell), leaving me rotten here without mercy. But you're not people, you're not everybody. You're my Sho, and I had your feature engraved within my heart.

And I'm not regret.


	2. Chapter 2

-the 344th-

**-the 344****th****-**

**Sho's POV**

"How's the moon you see there, Kei?".

I lit my cigarette, the forth one, and seems far to the end. You know, I have terrible habit, I can't wait too long and consumed silent, as you always been. I'm getting used to drop in bawl or high pitch of crazy anger, slamming and break things my hand reached, or both.

But not silence….

"I see a huge one, beautiful. The picture is clear here, Kei. You've missed it for years already."

Sway to another darker corner of the room, I made my way to your couch, wrap my body to the fluffy things remain your scent.

"See, I warm your bed. You'd better come home…. "

In a blue, the rasp of the wind slid among the curtain and sound of crisp swift weep brought to the already half empty room, as if my presence is not linger here even my body remain. January 31th, clear nightfall, the 344 days without you and still continue. I had no sense nor wish to see you come today, the same of 343 days rest. But I keep waiting Kei, I'm not leaving from here to anywhere you can't found me when you're back.

I'll stay here, the rest of my life.

"So be at home soon Kei. I'm aged….. and I'll die"

--

**Kei's POV**

I can't sense my body. Still I have my head? Is my eyes worked? Did my heart forget to pump? Where is it, Sho? Where am I?

Silent has eaten me. Well, maybe coz I've used to hear your shout, your snore, your cry. Even sometimes I found your childish behave is a pain in my ass, but it made me relief. You've made me understand what a head for, what my ears can do, or what a shoulder could be essential part of my body. Coz you were need it. You made myself needed. And damn I need you now Sho.

The moon, what is it like on everywhere you could see? Its huge, its sad, its means. Why this huge, unreached, unchanged things just stay there beautifully, while I'm no longer posses ability to describe "beautiful". You're nowhere Sho, so beautiful is nowhere too.

Why can I just swift my leg, turn my body back and face you? I'm badly want to go home. I wanna go home, to where you're.

Why I keep deceive myself? Why its hard, too hard to just come home? No Sho, it never did too hard. Its easy for me to just fly on the way, catch my supernatural ability and be at your place in minutes.

Distance is not the one thing which made trouble to reach you. But here Sho, in my heart… I just can't stand to see your sad, humiliated, disappointment to my feature. I can't stand to prove it right. So I leave….

I'm homeless….. but still, I'm running and hide.

**A/N :** Yes! It's damn short… TT I have complexion with the long story. I always afraid I lost in my mind and I don't know what I'll write next. Please review dear


	3. Chapter 3

-the 694th-

**-the 694****th****-**

**Sho's POV**

"Should I wake?". I'm not attempt to leave my dreamy world where I could find your smile, your hug, I can't let it be just dream. But dream, just be a dream. It's taken for granted from when I had born. Dream about mother and father, and home, and now you.

I wish for not open my eyes in a new day, where I know, it will be another days without you. Simply sleep, and death, and the pain will gone to nowhere. Deadman can't feel suffer, pain, hunger, sad, love, heartbreaking which now I've felt them all at once. I'm living as long as I can afford, but things, no, hopes for your return always hindered me to take the shortcut. Well, death will come itself I won't bother to pick it up. Near or later, it matters of times. While I just can lit my tobacco and wait you all night.

It has been…. 2 years? (I hate to remember the time), too long for me, well maybe this is what people called "Love brings forever", while in my case, YOU bring eternity. Eternity to wait, eternity to hope and not yet granted, or never. I gamble everything, give everything which I know I won't get anything. Just stupid one draws this game while the chance of winning is near zero. Near. And I remember you never called me "clever Sho" You stayed call me crybaby, or stupid, or both.

My tobacco has running out. I wonder how many hours I stay to reminisce you, then gawked when I caught number 4 in my watch. Its still 4 a.m. Well, it was long. It is long… but it never long enough to the time where you come back here.

And the morning comes, and a new dawn rise. And I'm still alone.

--

**Kei's POV**

I can run and hide from sunrays (well, that's why I still life) but not from your presence. And simply, its everywhere, wherever my foot brought me, wherever my eyes saw things.

It's suffocating. Coz I can't keep my heart for coming home, to you.

Your smell like a blood stain. I can clean it, but the taste won't leaving from my body, include the aftermath, regret. I always wonder, Am I supposed to life in regret every time I took my heart to anyone but myself?

Well, it's not a question actually. It's an utopia. You can't answer it. I can't answer it. Believe God could (I hope He could)

Through every blood stain I smell, you're just too good to be true. I never met person which had this nausea. Purity, egoism, burning spirit, hope and love… that's was your smell Sho. And mine? Its disgusting, rotten by age and deadly poisoned by crime, lustful, hatred. Coz I feed from those worthless creature, no, sinful creature and I had problem there ( I'm too much picky for my meals)

Days without you, seems like a dead sea, nothing can live in it. I can't life in it. My soul dead even I still wake. While torturing become my habit, it even worse everyday, maybe because there's no YOU preaching me to stop.

Sho, you should life, so I will life.

**A/N :**

Well… I did, unperfect but still I did. I wrote this when I had enough time for leaving my room. I was in my bipolar treatment in hospital. Yes, I have a mental disorder.

Please review… this will bring my life.


	4. Chapter 4

-The 900th -

**-The 900****th**** - **

**Sho's POV**

Desire to skim reality, and wishing they'd gone all at once. I wonder how easy life would be. I hate to say I'm just a pretender, waiting the good things come where there're never be. I pray that you'll be right by my side now, for better or worse. Leave it just be my wish, coz perhaps your wish is bit contrary to mine.

Well Kei, if someone close enough to know me better, they would ask me what have changed me this great. The first day you brought me home, you taught me to smoke, you bought me one, you laughed when I coughed furiously. You said that my pretty face wouldn't allow the sting of smoke. Well that time I thought that you had no mirror, or at least you never saw yourself in mirror. Coz you're prettier than me, with your angel wing spread open on your shoulder blade, your gentle voice, your small fingers, almost feminine enough for a cigarette to hung up within. You're my reason to smoke. I had enough with your retorted, I'm not a brat, so then I smoke.

And now, I hate to smoke. Particularly it's personal grudge. How could I feel the taste of this deadly nicotine while all I want to do is living. Living this life so that I can see you home. I can wait you eternally. I have all time in this world to wait you home. Sometimes I just tried to give up, stop to wait you in your favorite windowsill, or sit solemly in Mural, or in the rooftop, or everywhere. I would have drown myself to the devilish game, shooting, killing, robbing, be my old self, the devil child. But everytime I was in danger, running out of bullet, or even the almost-hit-my-head-in-their-butt act, willingly or not, I always called your name. "Help me Kei Bastard". Then when I knew my mouth said the cursing word on you, I hit my heart in the fragile mode.

You're not there, Kei… once you always…

So Kei, what left for me to say, is what I always hope for. Let me be your home.

Let yourself be at home, Kei.

I miss you.

**Kei's POV**

Once, I was born in a happily family, surrounded by warm hearted people, friends, parent, which all be perfect if only I had siblings. I'm the only son of those little family. Until now, I hardly forget Mom's crying a river for my gone, to catch my hope with Luka. Which is now ended as a guiltless monster whose life by stealing other living. Could you figure out how I loved you so much? Its great having person who wait you home, its beautiful to have person who cried for your pain.

You're gift… you're amazing gift….

So that's why I swear to all Gods I knew and which is the right one (Vampire didn't believe God), I will never drink for your blood, no matter what it is. Let see, we had shared the room, the blanket, even the breath… together, both of us. Can you imagine the tempting to just draw you near and drink to your blood, Sho? The urge to my diet, my bloodlust sometimes drove me crazy, but I won't flicked my finger on you…

Coz living eternal is terrific… and I couldn't draw you in. It's… I can't imagine the proper word to say…

It's stings

And my sting life had been brightened by your presence. What a fortunate am I? But yet I was greedy, I need you more and more… I need your presence to accompany me forever! For holy God…. I was the worst. I'm blind to what I am, a monster… Where did the idea of monster living with human can be so peaceful. If it is for me, but not for you… You have this world, the human world, the noon, the sun, friends, aging, and died. While what I have is eternity… I can't take to see you losing one by one of those beautiful things around you just because of me.

Sho, you're my only home in this world.

Yes it's true….

But I can't come home. I can't destroy that amazing thing.

I longed to back home…. Could you tell how selfish I am…

I miss you


End file.
